saturday hummus, ahem, i mean humor

one day, my husband picked up chick peas on his grocery run.
chick peas, really?
oh, brother!
here’s the story:
after chris picked up the garbanzo beans, i read this post.
mckmama has some great ideas so i thought i would try one.
i gave the girls 2 cooked beans each and made encouraged the girls to eat one each.
maya:in went the garbanzo bean. out went the garbanzo bean.
brin: in went the garbanzo bean. out went the garbanzo bean.
and i thought, “well, i’ll just have to eat them all myself.”
and i did. faithfully.
for like 3 days.
after 3 days i was sick of them (and i threw some out at work because there was no way in the world that i was going to be able to eat ANY more of these things!).
there was a problem.
i still had 3/4 of the bag of the garbanzo beans (okay, i am totally calling them gb’s now) at home in the fridge.
i had a big problem. a husband who won’t eat them, 2 little girls who won’t eat them, a little boy who shouldn’t eat them, and myself who thought, “if i eat another one of these, i will vomit!”
what to do.
we had a picnic coming up the week after we had dane’s birthday party at our house. at least 2 people like hummus.
let’s make hummus.
i don’t like hummus.
at all.
oh brother.
i still had this great idea. and it wouldn’t leave my head. so i looked up hummus recipes online (because THAT’s where all the best recipes come from, right?).
every recipe called for this stuff called tahini paste. not tahiti paste as my husband affectionately called it. tahini paste.
so to make a different long story short, i picked some up.
it only comes organically.
it only comes in a 16 ounce jar.
it only comes at the price of $8.59.
it only called for 1/4 cup for the recipe.
okay. i guess i had to do what i had to do.
i also picked up a bag of baked pita chips which are MUCH more expensive than potato chips. significantly more.
so after spending $17.98 at the grocery store for my hummus/chips, i left.
(how much does the little container of hummus cost? at most $6–what was i THINKING!?!)
once at home, i needed to begin making my hummus.
first i needed to grind my gb’s. i got out my blender and put gb’s in. they ground fairly nicely. so i filled up the blender.
let me just tell you something i learned. other things don’t blend or get chopped or get grated if the bottom of the blender it plugged FULL of dried ground gb’s. after a while, i added a little water. that helped for a bit. at one point, i turned the blender completely upside down to dislodge the already grounded gb’s. that didn’t work the greatest because then everything that was partially ground and wet stuck to the lid of the blender and didn’t fall to the bottom all that easily. i also got out my baby food grinder to help with the chopping process. that worked but only for a bit. the dried ground gb’s were very much pasted to the blade and the sides of the container.
FINALLY after what seemed like eternity an hour the gb’s were ground as well as they were possibly going to get. i was supposed to blend all the ingredients together in the blender,but i decided that i would just mix them in the bowl myself. so i scooped all the gb’s “paste” out of the blender and into a bowl.

you wouldn’t think this would be a big deal.

you haven’t been told that i was doing this with a 1 year old crawling around my ankles.

at one point, brin came in and then went back out the back door, and dane decided to follow. this is very dangerous since our back door has a huge cement block outside of it with steps going down. so the danger lies in the back door pinching his fingers, him falling from the door onto the cement, or him falling down the 4 stairs onto the driveway. whatever could happen would be scary!

i sent the blender back in the motor and yelled, “dane!” and ran after him. i caught him and he was safe, but as i was running to his saftey, my blender fell off the counter and ground up gb’s went ALL over the kitchen floor.

oh brother.

the rest of this story is anticlimatic as i was able to clean up the gb’s, mix the ingredients together (forgetting one, but i think it turned out to be okay), and put it in the fridge to wait for the picnic without any other mishaps.

i scooped some hummus up with a pita chip to try and declared, “that’s actually okay!” i scooped some up for chris, ran it outside for him, and bless his heart, he ate it.

i still don’t like hummus.