|image by bud_girl8|
I want to be a friend. I want to be one who cares and who has time to listen and who wants to help. I want to be a friend who doesn’t mind getting a call after midnight, who will cry with you, who will bring you food (more than once) if you need it. I want to visibly show how much I love you.
I want to sacrifice for you and give of all the time that I have to be there for you. Especially when you are hurting. But even if you aren’t hurting, I want to be able to spend all day with you just hanging out without any specific plans.
When I was kid, I was so excited to be an adult because I thought I would have all the time in the world. No homework, no school. I thought I would be able to always be available to my friends. Just doing what I want to do all the time.
But since I have had a family, I have learned that even though I don’t have homework to tie up my time, I would have the responsibilities that I didn’t see–like balancing the checkbook and figuring out how to make ends meet and cooking supper (not to mention deciding what we were going to have for supper) and the laundry and the housekeeping (what I can do), etc. Not that it is hard and not that I’m ungrateful. I really am happy with my life. I really am pleased with my marriage and family. What I am saying is that just because I don’t have homework doesn’t mean I don’t have work to do at home.
The sacrifices I make must first be for my family. My husband needs to go fishing. And I need to let him go without any baggage from me. That gets in the way of my sacrificial time for others.. My kids need their mama present with them, and that gets in the way of my time. I need to rest and that limits my time to give to others.
Yes, I want to be the perfect friend. I want to be the friend who can help to solve all your problems, but alas, I am not. The best friend I can be is the one who knows herself and is willing to sacrifice herself and not her family.
Because that’s where I am right now. I won’t apologize for who I am.
If you are my friend, I love you. I think about you often, and I pray for you. Thank you for letting me be your friend.