Mid-Life Musings

I suddenly realized that I am in my mid-life.  I will be celebrating my 34th birthday soon, and it recently struck me that I am completely out of my twenties.  I’m not just a little bit out of my twenties.  They are done.  I can’t even pretend I’m twenty.

I have lines on my forehead and wrinkles around my eyes.  On my cheek, there is an age spot.  It just showed up one day.  I didn’t notice before I went to bed, and then one morning, there it was!  For a couple of weeks, I tried to wash it off because I couldn’t figure out what it was.

Then, it hit me.  That’s an age spot, and it’s not going away.

The next thing that I contemplated was that I can’t eat anything and everything I want to eat anymore.  And it’s not only about maintaining or losing weight.  If I want to live a long life, I should probably eat an apple, drink some more water, and stop taking seconds all the time.  Sure, I would love to have ice cream every night and 2 cookies with lunch everyday and fast food weekly, but my body can’t process that junk into positive energy anymore.  That kind of diet makes me sluggish and sick.

Overall, the thing that gets me thinking the most is that now I am supposed to be an adult.  I’m supposed to have wisdom and life experience.  As I get older, I am realizing that I really don’t know very much at all.  My life is so small, and there is so much more to consider than just what I’ve experienced.  My mom talks to me as an equal and asks for my opinion.  My dad agrees with ideas that I have like I’m a colleague.  He’s not just humoring me.

I just can’t wrap my head around this.  If I don’t consider myself an adult now, will I consider myself grown up in 10 years?  20 years?  When will I feel grown up?  Will I ever feel grown up?  Or is it all relative?  When I’m around my kids I feel all old, but when I’m by myself or with my family/friends, I feel like the same dumb me.

Is there ever a point when you realize “I’ve arrived”?

Part of me wants to “arrive” and part of me wants to always be learning and growing (even if it is inconsequential facts) so that when I do arrive, it’s in Heaven.

About giannarae

I am a child of God who has been given the humbling job of being a wife and a mother to 4. Those whom He has given to me are my Sweet Peas and Buddies and one Honey.
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4 Responses to Mid-Life Musings

  1. *ugh*
    Just had a nice comment written and then I hit something and the whole thing erased. (A sign of aging??? *wink*)
    Anyway, as I was sayin'…
    I'll be 40 in September and I'm still feeling like a baby. (Of course, most days I'm hanging out with men and women who are at least twice my age!)
    The gray hairs are a constant reminder that I'm getting older, but I still feel like I don't know anything. Still feel like I'm a kid. More and more each day I realize I cannot do this life on my own.
    And I am so thankful that God's grace is big enough to carry me through these final days of my 30s, and every day He gives me breath until He takes me HOME. Yeah. That's when we'll arrive.

  2. Arletta Rue says:

    this aging thing is strange.. I still feel like I am in my twenties and I haven't been there for a very long time. I still feel like I can do anything and everything… of course that isn't always the case.. but I think it is way better to not be a 'grown up ' in so many ways.. Like enjoying the little things like a child.. sunshine, clouds moving. the magic of a rainbow.. There was a time when I felt like I had arrived.. it was short lived .. cause reality hit

  3. Kira says:

    It is my opinion, that your spirit hits a certain point, somewhere in your teens, and it stops aging. You feel the same as always but continue to gain life experience. I am smarter than I was when I was 19, but I still “feel” the same, ya know? This is what makes me nervous about being really old. Feeling like I'm 17 but being trapped in this old body that doesn't look or behave like it's supposed to.

    Some people this is not true of, though. They get old at like 18 and stay old forever.

    You are not one of them ~ yay!

    I completely get this post, even if I'm not expressing myself well. And another thing~ I have an agespot too and I just turned 30! What in the jose?

    Mine is on the skin under my eyebrow, so now no matter how much I pluck, one of my eyebrows looks like Bert from Sesame Street. It's okay, you can laugh. I just started putting a miracle wheatgrass cream on it. I'm pretty sure it's going to miraculously disappear any time now. I'll keep you posted!

  4. This post just made my day!!! I thought I was the only one going through this kinda dilemma…I fret when children aged 10 and 12 or even 5 call me Aunty( that is what kid's call mother of a child, in this part of the world)..It just erodes me of my confidence and adds another 10 years to my age though I am just 25+

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