I was going to have a heart attack.
You see, my in-laws were in town and stayed in a hotel since our basement is a flood zone. So we decided to take four mobile children to a pool.
I have NO idea!
This is not a story about my superstars. You can find those stories at Sweet Peas & Buddies.
No, this story is about a mama who is insane.
Well, maybe not insane as much as currently going crazy.
So anyway, we were at the pool. Every single adult except our beautifully pregnant cousin was in a swimming suit. Every single child except the beautiful one who is en uetero was in a swimming suit.
Let the fun begin.
First the superstars led us to the kiddie pool where we discovered we could make the fountain shoot to the top of the ceiling by standing on the smaller foutains.
This was EXHILIRATING for us adults.
Okay, so maybe it was only exhilirating for me. But I am an adult, am I not?
Then, Wordgirl wanted to practice swimming because now she is a swimmer. She has successfully passed Mini-swimmers, Puddle jumpers, and is well on her way to passing Level 1. She just needs to take it one more time. But no worries, she will pass it next time!
After she got in the pool, Wordgirl thought the waterslide would be fun, so she scampered up to the platform. Then, she stopped.
Princess Pea wanted to go down the waterslide, so up the stairs she marched. She marched and marched and marched.
Meanwhile, I was blind. Completely and utterly blind. I could not see anything for I had removed my glasses. I would highly recommend that you keep your glasses on when in the pool with your children.
Wordgirl looked down at me from the top of the slide and I squinted up at her. She was yelling down at me and I was yelling up at her, “I can’t hear you! Just go down!”
Then, she disappeared.
Where did she go?
My guess was into the slide! I positioned myself to catch my brave little 6 year old.
Remember I was blind.
The next thing I saw in the slide was feet.
But whose feet were they? Who did they belong to?
Was it Wordgirl? Was it Princess Pea?
Oh, oh, oh, It was someone ELSE!
Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
Side note: I am not a very fast mover in the water whether it be swimming or even walking. When Chris and I lived in an apartment building with a pool, I once went down to it and decided to swim laps for exercise. As I was swimming laps in the shallow end (so SHORT laps), the phrase that was repeating itself in my brain was, “I’m going to die and no one will know that I’m here. I’m going to die and no one will know that I’m here.” So even though it’s needless to say, I’m gonna say it: I don’t swim very well.
Back to the pool: Incidentally, I moved as fast as I could from the opening of the waterslide which is at a snail’s pace. I was far enough away from the opening that the guy didn’t knock me under the water, but he did clobber my hip!
Oh, joy! That’s gonna bruise!
Finally, Chris went up there and convinced the girls to go down. Funny thing was that they stopped moving 6 feet before the end of the slide! So technically, I didn’t need to wait to catch them. I needed to wait to drag them out of the slide before the next person went down.
The rest of the evening, the girls swam like fish with Grandma and me. At one point, Dash took off from the big pool to the little pool and then back again and back again after that. There I was chasing him down yelling, “you have to WALK!” Yeah, that was effective.
Then, my blind self and I noticed this cute little flotation device-ladened baby trotting toward the hot tub. I FLIPPED out! “JackJack! JackJack!” (only I called his really name because that would be weird calling his cyber blog name in the middle of the pool!) And our BPC (beautifully pregnant cousin) went chasing after him. Oh, and she couldn’t do anything about it because she isn’t allowed to carry anything more than 10 pounds.
If I had known that Chris was right there, I wouldn’t have freaked out, but I was BLIND! Remember this important piece of information? This is highly important information.
I was going to have a heart attack. Then, what was I going to do? Who would save the superstars then?
We won’t even mention that the next day (but look here I’m totally mentioning it) when we went to some friends’ house and they have a private swimming pool. My swimming happy child was exhausted and swam into the deep end only to be saved after she started thrashing around. And Dash’s running finally got the best of him when he fell in over his head. But it wasn’t because he was running. I don’t even know why he fell in!
Heart attack city!