Mastering Bread–5 Minutes?

Some of you mentioned in one of my first bread posts about the 5 minute artisan bread.  To be honest, at first I ignored you all!
I said out loud to myself, “Yeah, that’s great, but I want to make a loaf of bread.”  I didn’t want to make bread to eat with a meal.
But then my brother weighed in.
Apparently, my brother pulls a lot more weight than the rest of you because I decided to make it.
Also, apparently, this idea was created by a fellow Minnesotan named Zoe (pronounced Zo-ee).  She’s like basically my neighbor.
I guess I should try this out.
So I did.
After finding the recipe online and following it to a T (let me tell you!), I read that dough should be rough and wet.  As opposed to smooth and wet or rough and dry.
I looked at mine.
It was smooth and dry.
What was happening?  What did I do wrong?
After a panicked phone call to my brother where I got to leave a message, I decided to load up 5 kids and take them to McDonalds.
What could be a better way to solve a problem than to take 5 children ages 5 and under to McDonalds BY MYSELF!
You gotta put everything into perspective.
After a successful outing to McDonalds, we returned home unharmed.  But we had missed my brother.
So I called him back.
Left another message. Promised him that I would be around for the rest of the day.
Looked at my dough and thought, “Maybe I should just add a little water?”
So I did, and it started to look rough and wet so I stopped.
I continued with the rest of the recipe.
Hours later, a child was having a meltdown.
And that’s when my brother called. 
As I was in the midst of the world ending, I could not answer my phone.
So my brother, left a message. 
His message was him chuckling.
Chuckling!
So I did what any good sister would do.
I called him back.
And left a message explaining in detail that at the very moment he had called his nephew (or niece, I don’t remember who it was) was in the depths of despair.
Meanwhile the dough just sat.
Apparently, this was good for it because when Andrew called back, and I finally got to talk to him, he assured me that everything I had down was fine.  His motto when baking bread is “No worries.”
I don’t think we have the same genes.
Because my motto for baking bread is, “I’m totally gonna figure this thing out if it kills me!”
So with all that said, he calmed me down enough for me to continue in this baking process.
I followed the rest of the instructions and formed my loaves to “rise” which really means get wider.
And it was good.
Really good.
I ate bread all day.

These pictures are from my 2nd and 3rd loaves.  I ate the first loaf so fast I didn’t even get a picture of it. Seriously!  The whole loaf was gone in less than a day.
When my writing mentor, Nancy, teased me and said I should bring her some when we met together to chat, I panicked (yet again.  I think one day I am going to die of a heart attack) and quickly baked another loaf.
This loaf, this poor loaf, was doomed from the beginning.
I wanted to try it without the steaming water in a pan at the bottom of the oven.
But when it was looking gray and squishy, I decided that it needed some steam to help it out.
So I added a pan of water.
Steam was coming up through the vent making it look like the oven was on fire, so Chris shut off the oven as fast as he could.
He, then, came to find me to ask me what was in the oven that might be burning.
Me:  Oh, nothing is burning. That’s steam.
Him: I just shut off the oven because I thought something was on fire.
Me: Oh, okay.
Him:  Sorry if I ruined your bread.

So I got up and turned the oven back on to the proper temperature and we were back in business.

I know the picture is blurry, and I know you are jealous of my
ability to make still objects blurry as if they were moving.

And it turned out okay.  The crust was a bit tougher and thicker than my first loaf.
Good things about this recipe:
1.  You can make 3 or 4 loaves from it.
2.  It keeps in your fridge until you are ready to make another loaf (for about a week)

Things that need some Explaining:
1.  Since the dough keeps in my fridge, I now have this GIGANTIC bowl in my fridge taking up about a third of the bottom shelf.  How am I going to store everything else?  Suggestions?
2.  This bread takes WAY LONGER than 5 minutes. Why, oh why, is it called “artisan bread in 5 minutes a day?”  Again suggestions?

Anyway, it tasted so good, I am going to see if it will work to make it in a loaf pan.
Here’s to hoping!

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About giannarae

I am a child of God who has been given the humbling job of being a wife and a mother to 4. Those whom He has given to me are my Sweet Peas and Buddies and one Honey.
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8 Responses to Mastering Bread–5 Minutes?

  1. Jess says:

    Ah, despite your pain, the bread adventure is making for some good blogging. I'm trying to master flour tortillas, first attempt: FAIL. They were edible (barely) so I didn't cry.

    Back up a foot or two next time you take a pic of your bread. Looks like you were just too close for the camera to focus properly.

  2. Jenny Aust says:

    I love that I can read your blog and COMPLETELY see every detail unfold in my mind! I am so glad that you tried the 5 minute bread…which is called that because the total time you actually do something…aside from letting it rise and so forth is about 5 minutes. But I think they are really lying. It still takes longer than that!

    I do also agree that my bowl takes up WAY TOO MUCH room in my fridge. But usually, we go through the bread fast enough that it only takes up that much space for about 5 days.

    Let me know if you can make it in a bread pan. I would prefer to use it for sandwich bread as well.

    Happy baking friend!

  3. SensoryMommy says:

    We kept ours in a rubbermaid shoe box in the fridge that way I could at least stack stuff on it. I agree it takes up A LOT of room. The 5 min thing comes in after the first day of making the dough. The next dall all you have to do is grab a ball of dough and go…hence 5 min…a little misleading…Your post makes me wish for some fresh bread right about now 🙂

  4. You always make me chuckle. Seems like you have the same effect on your brother, too.
    And I must agree with Jess. You're getting good blog fodder from this bread adventure. You multi-tasker, you! *wink*

  5. wow… that bread looks awesome!! do you ship??? :o)

  6. Well I went as far as buying the whole book!!!, I have enjoyed it and tried a lot of the recipes…I keep telling my college sons they can make it…but then again I am only doing it with one pair of helping hands!

    Glad you tried it and have such a helpful brother…I hope my boys will do the same for their little sis one day!

  7. Gi says:

    you are all much too kind. If only it tasted as good as it looked. it was a bit tough to chew. And making it in a loaf pan wasn't bad, but it wasn't fabulous either.

  8. RJ says:

    I am so totally jealous of your ability to make still objects look blurry as if they were moving. I don't know how it's possible that you keep getting funnier, but I'm glad it's true. Keep writing!

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