Squirt’s Accident

 

Do you want to know what the worst sound in the world is?

Thumpathumpathumpathump. Thump. Thump.

When you realize that it’s your baby falling down a full flight of stairs, that’s the worst sound in the world.

It sounds just like a pair of winter boots tumbling down the stairs.

Only boots don’t lie face down on the basement floor screaming at the top of their lungs.

It was completely my fault.  I knew there wasn’t a gate up yet.  I knew Squirt was pretty close to the stairs. I knew all this and yet, because I didn’t think he could move that fast, it didn’t spur me to action.

Until the first thump.

Then, Sweet Girl was pushed out of the way, Storygirl was ignored, and Sir was oblivious to the whole thing.  All that mattered at that moment was Squirt! 

He’s okay.  He doesn’t even have a bruise, and he wasn’t knocked unconscious since he was crying.  With my heart beating 100 beats a second, I looked him over, and then nursed him. 

After 10 minutes and a fight with Chris, I started sobbing.  Uncontrollably.  For the afternoon.

The memory of the sound of Squirt’s body thumping down the stairs made me nauseous.  It still makes me nauseous.  But yet, I don’t want to stop thinking about it because it should not be forgotten.

I could have lost Squirt because of my own stupidity.

I will never forget that.

And I will never deny him cuddles because I never know if it could possibly be the last.

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About giannarae

I am a child of God who has been given the humbling job of being a wife and a mother to 4. Those whom He has given to me are my Sweet Peas and Buddies and one Honey.
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8 Responses to Squirt’s Accident

  1. Jodi says:

    oh.my.word. I’m so sorry you had to go through that!! Thankfully he will never remember, but I know you’ll never forget. Things happen, for sure, but it’s undeniable that you LOVE your babies!!

  2. Arletta says:

    oh,, that had to have been awful… but praise God that all is well,,,,,

  3. ~natalie says:

    oh honey! i’m so sorry! please do not beat yourself up about this. we all have things we wish we had done differently or could go back and change. you are an amazing mom. they are kids. you simply can not protect them from everything … no matter how hard you try or would like to. he is okay. really he is. i know it’s scary but do NOT let it shake you or question what a GREAT mom you are. love you!!

    • giannarae says:

      natalie,
      I almost posted this link right onto your facebook page because I needed to hear from you. You made me cry. Thanks for your encouragement! And thank you, Jesus, for making sure that Natalie read it.

      It’s weird. I don’t always think, “I really need to hear from Natalie.” But today I did! And here you are!

  4. Amanda says:

    Oh girl! So sorry!! That is the WORST feeling. Hope all is well!

    ANd look at you with another blog… you are an over achiever huh? 🙂

  5. Leah says:

    I remember hearing Christian take what sounded like 4 steps to get down the stairs. He fell and “thumped” 4 times. Awful sound. I also remember hearing Ivan go down the wooden stairs and end up with a dent in his forehead. We all make mistakes and remember, God is even in control of our mistakes and the outcomes of such. We are not in control when we are perfect nor when we forget or neglect. Thank GOD. I’m so glad he is OK, and my 2 are OK. Thank you for sharing this!

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