My Humiliating Non-Question

We had a prophecy conference this past weekend at our church.  Dr. David Larsen, who is our pastor’s friend and mentor, came and pontificated (so his word, not mine) on the rapture and the middle east and today’s moral freefall.  (all of them different sessions) 
I attended the moral freefall session and after he expounded, he opened it up for a Q and A.  I had a question.  But I couldn’t figure it out.  But in front of hundreds of people, I still couldn’t keep my mouth shut.  I had to ask.
My Question:  What makes today’s moral dilemma any different from other periods in history?
What I said:  I would really like my little ones to grow up in a decent society.  But don’t you think that it’s better to grow up where evil is called evil instead of growing up where evil is hidden under moral decency?

At this point, he was just staring at me.
Okay, so I need to say more.

Me:  “Like people aren’t going to church because they really don’t believe and they aren’t” blah blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda digging deeper and deeper into a hole.  “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
Dr. Larsen:  I hear what you are saying but I still haven’t heard a question.
Me: *sigh*” I’m going to get it out.” blah blah blah–somewhere in there a question finally emerged.

And he answered it–at least he answered what I asked even if that wasn’t not my intent.  Basically he disagreed with me.  And you want to know how he answered it?  His illustration was the the different choices that we have between homeschool, private, and public school.

Really!  That’s not what I asked.  I’m pretty sure at least.
Yes, that has been going around in my head for months (as you can all attest to), but THAT’s not where I was going with this question.

I hate it when someone doesn’t agree with me.

Oh, it was so humiliating.
Then, I decided to talk to him after everything was all said and done, but I still couldn’t figure out how to make myself clear and so once again I humiliated myself.

I drove home in a mix of frustration and embarrassment.  I think I turned red in the darkness of the van at least 5 times.  I was so upset. 

That night I couldn’t sleep because I was so bummed that I had been such an idiot.

I even prayed, “I know, Lord, that it’s good for me to be humbled.  This is really hard.  Please help me to learn whatever lesson I need to learn and make some good come out of this.”
  Which probably really meant, “Please help me feel better about myself.” 

That didn’t happen.

All the next morning, I held a party. 
A pity party all for myself.

As Chris was getting ready to leave for work, I said, “When my pity party is over, I’ll let you know, but I don’t think it’s going to be for awhile UNLESS I GET SOME HELP!

He finally asked me what my question was.

When I told him what I said, he kindly said, “Gianna, there really isn’t a question in what you have said.  It’s an opinion.”

Me:  Well, I guess what I wanted to ask him was what makes today different from other periods of history?
Chris:  That’s a question.  And that’s a good one.  And don’t worry about it, he probably won’t ever remember you.
Me:  What about the hundreds of other people?
Chris:  *shrug*
Me:  Are you trying to say that they all know me and they already know what a DORK I am?
Chris:  *shrug*  *grin*
Me;  You are!  You TOTALLY are!

Chris laughed in agreeance and I was finally able to laugh.

After he left for work, I called Dacia to moan over the fact that once again I was an idiot.  She stated that nobody else probably even remembers what was said/asked.

Me:  Yeah, you are probably right. 
Me:  Oh, NO!  They recorded everything included the question and answer time!  Everyone will hear me!
Dacia: So what you are saying is that this is going to be forever recorded in history.
Me:  Yes.  oh, yes.

I would like to say that I have learned my lesson.
But I know I haven’t.
Not really, anyway!

Can someone please wire my jaw shut?

About giannarae

I am a child of God who has been given the humbling job of being a wife and a mother to 4. Those whom He has given to me are my Sweet Peas and Buddies and one Honey.
This entry was posted in bible, life, on gianna's mind. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to My Humiliating Non-Question

  1. Anonymous says:

    Oh, Gianna, I sympathize with you. I think everyone has probably had a moment similar to yours and has felt much the same way at some point in time. I admire your ability to share your story and feelings so openly with us! I would just rather curl up and cry! Keep your head up:-) –Karen T.

  2. denise says:

    gianna i'm not trying to take away from the resolution you are seeking but really i think that was a good question and just because you got a little side tracked in getting to your point, i don't think you looked like an idot…i think it showed you are thinking and passionate and care and the pastor could have been more sensitive in asking questions in reply to clarify what you were asking (he probably just didn't want to answer so he made you look like the one who was unclear). anyway, i think it is better to ask questions or sort of questions than not be actively involved and that is what i would take from the experience. love you…

  3. I can't help but laugh…been there will probably be there again…and my daughter is always there. She answered the pastor back in the middle of a sermon…a congregation of 1400!!!

    I think you opinion, question is right on target! In fact my husband and I have been having that discussion in our morning walk.

    How home schooling, public or private schooling would have anything to do with it I don't know!

    And was there a time in history that evil was evil? I think even during the Roman Civilization that was an issue and that is the time period that God sent His son!

    I hope you are getting over your embarrassment, but I applaud you for your courage.

    Thanks for letting me stop by

  4. Dana says:

    I appreciate your transparency and ability to laugh at yourself. I couldn't help but laugh too 🙂 And just in case it escaped someone's notice … you blogged about it … so now EVERYONE knows 😉

  5. gianna says:

    Oh! You guys made my day! Either I smiled or a giggled. Thanks for your encouragement!

  6. Gianna, you are such a delight to me! (And not just because you give me a chance to laugh at someone besides myself. *grin*)
    I was totally picturing that conversation with Chris, knowing Brian and I could have the same one. *wink*
    I have had the opportunity to meet someone I greatly admire, and said things which – in retrospect – seem absolutely dumb. Part of me knows she doesn't remember me OR what I said. But another part of me can't let it go. Yeah. I 'get' what you're going through!

    Love you!

  7. I totally get it. I've been there, daily it seems. I know what I want to say or ask, but I just don't know how to get it out.

    You're blessed to have an awesome husband and friends to talk to about these things. :o)

  8. Mamma Bird says:

    I have had the same question. Every one is talking about end times and how bad the world is. I have never voiced it other then to my hubby. But my mom told me when I was like 5 that Jesus was coming back before I grew up and have been wondering about it ever since. How do we know? How do we really know how bad is was? I know it can get worse. At least for the US. But I wonder the same thing.

  9. Bren says:

    I was not there and listened to it online but since my attention span is about as good as my children's I did not make it to the Q&A. Your five minutes may be up. 🙂

  10. Amanda says:

    Ha! I am so like this… I have those same conversations with myself.. and try not to talk in public because even if I DID somehow manage to make sense I would play it over and over in my head until I had convinced myself it was a dork. 🙂

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