not my comfort but hers

I know that I shouldn’t expect comfort.
And usually I am okay knowing that.
Sometimes it’s hard to accept when I am living in the reality of hardship, but I know I don’t necessarily get to live in comfort.
However, compared to others, I am living and do live in comfort.
It hit me hard when Chris was gone last weekend and I was watching Survivor on my bed with my laptop.
I realized that as I was living in the “lap of luxury,” there are people living out survival for real in Haiti and other 3rd world countries like the Phillippines or Uguanda or Cambodia or India or Honduras….You get the picture.

Even in our own country there are people struggling to get by each day. Not just financially, but also emotionally and relationally.

I have a friend who has adopted all her kids from Colombia. I’ve posted about her before: M. But these past 15 months or so have been pure torture for them at times. Oh, they LOVE their kids, but in part that’s why this year has been so insane. They have had to make some of the hardest decisions parents have ever had to make in their life, and they are grieving. There is much I want to say, but for their sake, I will refrain. I’ll just say that instead of getting easier, it’s gotten so much more difficult.

All I want to say is, “Why, God? When M is one of the most faithful women to you that I know, why are you putting her through this challenge? Why can’t someone else learn this lesson? Why can’t someone else be put through her pain? It’s not fair!”

Is this okay? Is struggling for someone else by telling Jesus that He’s not fair to my friend okay to do? I hate that she is going through this. HATE IT! I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to pray for her (which I am trying to do daily).
I also know it’s not about me.
It’s about her.
If she were any lesser of a person, she wouldn’t make it through this challenge (for lack of a stronger word). But I still don’t think it’s fair.
How do I pray for her comfort?

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About giannarae

I am a child of God who has been given the humbling job of being a wife and a mother to 4. Those whom He has given to me are my Sweet Peas and Buddies and one Honey.
This entry was posted in friends, on gianna's mind. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to not my comfort but hers

  1. My ADHD Me says:

    You ask how do I pray for her comfort?
    I think the answer is right here.
    This post was a perfect prayer.

    Some things you mentioned…
    1. God Why?
    2. God help my friend.
    3. God thank you for my many gifts.
    4. God help me understand.
    5. God lead her.
    6. God, I can't help myself, but I just feel this isn't fair. I know you have a plan but help me (and my friend) understand this plan.
    7. God, even though I sometimes feel lacking, thank you for letting me see the many gifts I have.

    That is what you said in your post.

    A perfect prayer.

    Amen.

  2. Wow. Isn't My ADHD Me a blessing?
    She's right, you know? You pour out your heart, you get totally honest with God, you ask Him for help, you confess your need of Him, you thank Him for what He's doing – even though you may not understand it. That's how you pray for your friend.
    He knows your heart.
    He knows what she needs.
    He knows what to do.
    Be faithful in prayer.
    He will be faithful in provision.

    When I am praying for friends who are facing things that seem out of control like this, I always, ALWAYS pray that God would give them eyes to see Him. That He would draw them near to Himself – allowing them to know His presence and goodness in spite of the storm.
    I may not know the “what” to pray for, but I do know that God always desires a person to be close to Himself, so that is what I pray.

    Love you!

  3. I agree… pour out your heart. Tell God you don't understand, ask Him to equip her, ask Him to give you wisdom into how to encourage and support her. It is so hard to watch those we love suffer. Keep praying. God is listening.

  4. Amanda says:

    These are some of those famous unanswered questions. You have such a kind and compassionate heart sweet girl!

    Blessings-
    Amanda

  5. denise says:

    i always thought God only allowed us to endure as much as we could handle…many times when my dad had heart attacks and i thought he would die i would plea with God that he “couldn't” allow him to go yet, i wasn't strong enough, i would make bargains or ultimatums like i couldn't have faith if he died…then when he did die (much later) i was in shock God allowed it and for over a year so bitter and hurt, unbelieving and thinking i still wasn't strong enough but 3.5 years later i realize i was at a place where i could endure it, i just didn't want to. and i still believe. my belief is stronger maybe because through the pain i've realized what matters most and focusing on my belief and relationship with God knowing i will be reunited with my dad in heaven. maybe we can't “see” things that others in the experience understand on some level? i also believe with sin in the world that life is fundamentally unfair so we have to focus on what we have control over…our choices, our relationship with God…

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