weekend thoughts: i am not her

Weekend Thought Buttonit’s saturday which means, we get to join crystal at life at the circus for a little reflection time about more than just crayons on the wall and laundry on the couch.

all my life, i have always wanted to be someone else. i never thought about it like that until right now. in the past, i would have said that i wanted to be JUST LIKE someone. but now thinking about it, i really wanted to be exactly who they were. in high school, i wanted to be just like jen, who was the intern. honestly, i think she is the best intern in youth ministry i have EVER met (and i was a youth ministry major so i was SURROUNDED by them!)
in college, i wanted to be like jenny, my employer (i was their nanny). she was so comfortable in who she was and didn’t make ANY excuses about how she lived her life. she was talented and interesting and kind and loved her kids. i wanted to be just LIKE her.
as i have been an adult now for a while, i find myself wanting to be like many other people; ladies at church, neighbors, some co-workers. now, i recognize it and can be more comfortable in my own skin (maybe not my house, but most definitely, my skin).
at least, that is, until recently.
we are starting to learn about thanksgiving in preschool at our house so i thought that this week, we would work on thanking people who have done some kind things for us. our neighbors gave us a bike for the kids when they get older and the curries have given us multiple meals.
i decided that we needed to bake cookies.
i wanted to bake amanda’s cookies (from i am mommy).
why? because i am a glutton for punishment.
we donned our bakewear and got ready.

d-man sat down to enjoy his book and we were set.

now, amanda makes these AWESOME cookies. they LOOK like candy. they are BEAUTIFUL! seriously, go check her blog out. on her new blog (i am baker), she listed her cookie recipe. so i was soooooooooooo excited! i followed her recipe to the T including having chris pick me up a flour sifter because i didn’t own one. my mantra however was, “i’m not amanda.”

they didn’t start out too badly.

the frosting was another story. “i am not amanda.”

then, the lettering. “i am not amanda.”

i have since decided that if i am going to practice and make more of these cookies (which i am. i may not give them away, but i AM going to make more), i need to get a pastry bag and tips. bright purple frosting coming out of the TOP of your baggie is not fun when it needs to come out of the tip at the BOTTOM! and i need to practice my letters.

however, i MUST say they were so tasty. oh, they were good! it was super hard to give them away. well, not really, but i wasn’t too embarrassed to share them. i just didn’t really want people to look at them.

and then i thought once again, “i am NOT amanda. these are fine! unless they know amanda, there is no reason to be embarrassed.”

so i proudly gave them away.

kind of.

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About giannarae

I am a child of God who has been given the humbling job of being a wife and a mother to 4. Those whom He has given to me are my Sweet Peas and Buddies and one Honey.
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3 Responses to weekend thoughts: i am not her

  1. That was such a sweet gesture! I think they looked quite good! 🙂

  2. Arletta Rue says:

    oh ,, but they were GOOD!!! It was a great 'thank you'

  3. Good for you! I am proud of you for not letting doubt set in and force you to keep those cookies. I am sure they were richly blessed by your kindness. And they really are adorable. I find when decorating cakes or cookies, I can look at the picture for the idea, but then have to put it away b/c if I am starting at it when I am finishing mine, I am so not satisfied!

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