priorities

photo courtesy of jim dietz photography

yesterday i had had it.

i couldn’t take it one more minute with maya.
i was so enraged that i was shaking.
and it was all because she was avoiding nap time.
really, i should have held it together.
but i didn’t.
after many many tears and a good long late night talk with my husband (who i had called earlier to see how close he was to being home), i realized some things.
besides my priority to God and my husband, there is no greater priority in my life than my kids.
i know this and have known this for a while.
but i think it finally hit home.
yep, it socked me in the chest and the gut and right between the eyes.

my kids come first (really, my relationship with God is intertwined throughout my entire life and my husband’s needs have and do and will always be of first concern, but nothing ELSE should be above my kiddos)

~i can help my neighbors and can enjoy being with my neighbors, but my children’s needs come over my neighbors’ needs.
~i can volunteer at church 2 or 3 sundays a month, but if it’s interfering with my kids’ needs, then it’s gotta go.
~cancelling plans with friends because my kids need me is not standing them up. it’s the reality of life right now.
~if work would like me to come in for 4 days instead of 3, i really have to weigh the consequences for and to my children and not just get excited that we are getting some more money.

~hobbies: yes, i know it’s good to have them and i need an outlet for myself. i get that. but even that’s not a priority. hobbies are for spare time/time set aside for fun.
my hobbies are reading, scrapbooking, and really right now above all else blogging.

i am not called to keep up my blog everyday just because a handful of people read it.
i am not called to participate in every blog carnival there is because i want more followers.
i don’t need to go read EVERYONE’s blogs who have commented on my blog to be polite. yes, i do know that it’s courtesy, but my kids need me more than a fellow blogger whom i don’t even know. (side note: for those of you i have started following, you know what i mean. i’m not trying to insult you) time will come when i can spend hours during the day reading blogs (and maybe figuring out how to do the buttons and carnival creations and designs, not to mention making money)
i am not supposed to keep blogging a high priority in my life. yes, it is after midnight right now and i am typing this, but that’s because it’s on my heart and last night i couldn’t sleep because i had these thoughts running through my head. (thus, a traveling thought. see?)
all this to say, i enjoy blogging, but if you comment on my blog and i don’t comment on yours, it’s not because i don’t want to. i do, but at this time in life, i am choosing to make my kids my priority.

oh, and on a side note, i do go running, but that’s not always a hobby. i need to get and stay in shape to be a healthy mommy for my family. (and i want to look somewhat attractive for my husband. i do have a long way to go in that department, though!)

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About giannarae

I am a child of God who has been given the humbling job of being a wife and a mother to 4. Those whom He has given to me are my Sweet Peas and Buddies and one Honey.
This entry was posted in life, on gianna's mind, superstars. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to priorities

  1. Arletta Rue says:

    sometimes it is just plain hard work to be mom and be that above everything else.. but you are doing a wonderful job.. love you.

  2. Sandy says:

    You are a GREAT MOM!!!!

  3. Bren says:

    It is cool to hear your perspective. I often hear from the world that we should take care of ourselves first. Get it right with us and make sure we are happy. God never said we would live in happy land and I love that you so get that. Stay strong! Soon you will have 3 kids that won't you need you so much.

  4. Micah says:

    It is perfectly fine to feel like you are losing it sometimes. I think that sometimes, that is the only way that we can gain perspective on things around us. The trip back down from insanity is very enlightening.

  5. I love your traveling thoughts. You are right… it so easy to get our priorities out of whack… can happen easily in little ways.

    Hope today is a much better day!

  6. Jenny Aust says:

    I REALLY needed to read your words tonight, Gianna! I have so been struggling with my selfish wants instead of what is best for my home, my husband, and my kids. Thank you for being so brutally honest and authentic with your struggle. You are not alone.

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